| Cosmology, diagram 1 |
[19 Oct 2006|10:45pm] |
The idea of the Oldest Animals, a recurring motif in Celtic lit, keeps popping up into my mind. Here's the first diagram, which not surprisingly is the one that works better.
|
|
| Fire, Fire Burning Bright |
[14 Dec 2005|11:31am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 cold |
] |
Fire seems to be following me around again.
For instance:
--last night, I burned dinner. Severly. The fish turned out ok to eat, but somehow the rice overcooked way too quickly, and when I went to the kitchen to check on it, smoke was billowing out from under the lid on the pot. Then the fire alarm went off. We openned all the windows--which sucked, since it's so cold here (it was 12°F last night). The rice was some weird orange color, and kinda had the consistancy of that fake grass people use in their backyard sometimes in the city. Or that you find on welcome mats. That weird, plastic spiky stuff.
--today, a coworker's computer caught fire. Smoke was, again, coming out of something. Somehow she fried her motherboard (literally, apparently), and the office started filling with that weird, electrical burning smell, that vaguely ozone smell.
Someone is trying to tell me something, but I'm not sure what. It's a message I've apparently been getting for a while, but I still haven't decoded it.
|
|
| Well--gulp--I did it. |
[07 Nov 2005|09:17am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 I'm just not sure how I feel |
] |
I've gone and done it... I wrote my resignation letter to ROG, telling them I'm going to help ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) triskele with the new protogrove.
This has been difficult for me, deciding to do this, but I think it's the best thing I could do.
( This is the letter I wrote )
Well, off we go, huh?
|
|
| Saturday Ritual |
[16 May 2005|09:15am] |
Saturday we had a regular ritual at Ridley Creek. Now, I say a "regular" ritual because at our high day rituals, we have someone channeling a god. So this was sans channeling, and so it was closer to the standard ADF liturgy you find on the site.
It only took 15 minutes. This has to be a new record.
Of course, there were only a few of us there--Dafydd, Myr, myself, and three others (Brenda, who will be joining the grove soon, and two people I don't really know but have seen around).
Point is that hopefully we will start having regular rituals again. Maybe not every single weekend, but hopefully one or two between high days, at least as a start. I wish we'd have weekly services, but I guess that'll be too much for most people. Of course, I organized this one and I figure I can keep organizing and leading ritual, so it's up to me if we make them weekly.
I think I'm going into a hypomanic phase. Well, it's better than being depressed.
When I come back from Europe (where, hopefully, I will get some water from the Danube), I'm going to start lore meetings at the apartment.
I don't know, I just feel the need to throw myself into this.
It's Monday. My brain isn't fuctioning yet. I'm still playing Everquest II in my head. Ugh.
|
|
| Beltane, 2005 |
[02 May 2005|09:32am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
contemplative |
] |
Wet wet wet. And I don't like getting wet. Me and Merry* have something in common.
Having said that, wouldn't ya know, the rain stopped just for ritual? Which I wasn't sure would happen, given the last Calan Awst, when it poured.
One nice thing, though--Sarah and Willow surprised us with a little celebration for me and Dafydd for completing the Dedicant journal. Champaigne (the real thing, from France) and truffles. Mmm. That was so sweet of them!
( On Handfasting and Talking to the Gods )
I don't think Dennis and I were so happy to come home as we were yesterday. It seemed like the sun came out as soon as I hit Philly. Fell asleep for a few hours, then we watched Blade Runner... I drempt of robots last night.
* our tabby. Merry, btw, is short for Meriadoc Brandybuck. Yeah, we're geeks. Well, he's got the personality of the hobbit, so it fits.
|
|
| I Am Done! |
[05 Apr 2005|11:22am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 ecstatic |
] |
Please join me in congratulating
~~~Mary Jones~~~
of Red Oak Grove, ADF
who has successfully completed the
requirements of the
Ar nDraoicht Fein Dedicant Program.
As Preceptor of Ar nDraoicht Fein, I'd like to welcome Mary among those
folks who've taken the time to learn what ADF is all about and make it
a major part of their lives' spiritual paths.
N.B. PLEASE DO NOT RESPOND DIRECTLY TO THIS EMAIL, but send your
congratulations to Mary directly.
Best wishes,
Jennifer Hunt
ADF Preceptor
|
|
| Rethinking the Gods |
[05 Apr 2005|09:45am] |
When I wrote about the Kindred, I wasn't sure how I felt about the Gods. So I was told to try and rethink this, to narrow down what I believe, even if it's only what I believe right now--it doesn't have to be forever.
( So I did )
|
|
| Rethinking the Two Powers |
[05 Apr 2005|09:42am] |
Bardd Dafydd gave me this assignment, after giving him my DP:
Write a paragraph or two, doing your very best to show that the Sky Power is Masculine and the Earth Power is Feminine. Forget about your doubts as to it's authenticity, appropriateness, etc. and just show me how it is so. Make an argument for the case, as if you were hired to represent that position in court. Do your best.
THEN, write a paragraph or two showing me the *exact opposite*! The Sky is the Mother and the Earth is the Father.
Finally, a paragraph or two about anything you might have learned from the exercise and any conclusions you may have reached.
( And this is my answer )
Much thanks goes to cyfarwydd, who set my on the right path with the answer.
|
|
| Imbolc, or, welcome to Groundhog Day |
[08 Feb 2005|12:52pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
They Might Be Giants |
] |
Here's the thing. Each day in Philadelphia, in February, usually has this horrible tendency to look dreary, gray, bleak. Snow that was white is melting, sure, but it's also black and yellow, a corruption, a dirtiness of roads and animals and trash.
I'm listening to an album called Flood. Some of ya might know it.
I returned a bag of groceries
Accidently taken off the shelf
Before the expiration date.
I came back as a bag of groceries
Accidently taken off the shelf
Before the date stamped on myself.
Now it's over I'm dead and I haven't done anything that I want (now it's over)
Or, I'm still alive and there's nothing I want to do
I keep thinking about this idea of flooding. I had a dream the other night. Everyone was running for churches, inside buildings. They thought the apocalypse was coming. Storms were coming, the sky was dark. But the weird part is that I just went to my car and got in. The world was flooded, cities were flooded. It was like that time candygraez and I were driving through Wheeling, WV, and the whole city was flooded. At first I thought it looked like Venice, then I realized that no, this was some sort of disaster. But that was what my dream was like. Philadelphia, the Delaware Valley, and the Lehigh Valley, all flooded. And was able to drive around in my car. And the world was blue and green, the skies were clear. Things were clean.
On the other hand, it sounds too much like Travis Bickel.
What does this have to do with Imbolc? With Groundhog's Day?
I'm a big fan of that movie. Yeah, I like Bill Murray. But the concept of Groundhog's Day is pretty profound (and a hell of a lot better than the cheap comic-book pseudo-zen gnosticism of the Matrix movies). Yes, every day is the same as the next, and every day is going to be the worst day of your life--unless you change. Unless you work towards virtue instead of selfishness. Seems fairly elementary. And it includes reincarnation (of a kind). And here's where Imbolc comes in.
The Scottish believe that on Imbolc, Brigit is set free from the Cailleach--the old hag of winter--by her brother Angus, the god of love. With Brigit comes the longer days, comes the promise of spring.
Imbolc is about hope. Just like kids hope the groundhog out in western Pennsylvania won't see his shadow so that spring gets here sooner, I'm hoping that spring will return sooner than later, that maybe it'll decide, just this once, to show up early.
Imbolc is about purification. People made a mistake, thinking it refered to ewe's milk. I read an article in Eriu which pretty much convinces me that the word, while derived from a word for milk, actually has to do with purification of the spirit, wherein milk might have been used as a bath. Tie this to the Roman februum, the month of February, and the later Christian holiday of Lent.
Today is Mardi Gras--"Fat Tuesday" and farewell to the flesh. For the Christians, this is also a periods of purification. Why? In preperation of Easter, of the death and resurrection of their god. For Neopagans, we're preparing for the ressurrection of the earth from winter. In some ways, it's the same thing (in other ways, it's very different).
Imbolc is about hope. It's about the hope that winter will end, that the earth will be reborn. Imbolc is about purification--about making ourselves ready to be reborn into a new life, a new half of the year, when new projects, new loves, new crops, new babies, are brought into the world. And we have to take stock of who we are, whether we are able to bring these new things into the world. The only way to do that is to purify, to work towards turning each dreary winter day into something full of happiness and hope. Turning ourselves from selfish pursuits and back to the outter world.
It's time to prepare. It's Imbolc, and that means spring is coming.
|
|
|
[07 Feb 2005|04:06pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 brainfried |
] |
Imbolc was interesting...
Fire, fire everywhere. Or at least that's how it seems. I told my stories about the three times last year I was set/nearly set on fire, and was told by Brigedd (via the channeler) that I'm supposed to ground myself using fire.
Interesting. I have a weird relationship with fire.
I'm still thinking about everything. I'll post a longer comment later, maybe tonight after class.
One thing, though--I gotta stop looking off of a script sheet. I need to simply feel what I'm going to say, instead of panicking and reading off a sheet. It's terrible, I know. I'm still working on it.
Ugh.
|
|
| Gotta finish |
[12 Jan 2005|10:22am] |
I still have to finish a couple of questions for Bardd Dafydd before I can send my DP in to the Preceptor. Only I'm having some trouble on two:
Write a paragraph or two, doing your very best to show that the Sky Power is Masculine and the Earth Power is Feminine. Forget about your doubts as to it's authenticity, appropriateness, etc. and just show me how it is so. Make an argument for the case, as if you were hired to represent that position in court. Do your best.
THEN, write a paragraph or two showing me the *exact opposite*! The Sky is the Mother and the Earth is the Father.
Finally, a paragraph or two about anything you might have learned from the exercise and any conclusions you may have reached.
OK, I don't know how to do that. I mean, I can't wrap my mind into doing that. Any suggestions?
And here's the other question:
In "The Three Kindred" section you seem very unsure about the nature of the Gods. In the section "Noble Ones", 2nd sentence, you state: "unlike the gods, their power is limited." Yet in the section called "The Shining Ones", 2nd paragraph, you call the gods 'exceedingly powerful' and 'not necessarily omnipotent'. Hey! Make up your mind! Do you see the Gods as having limited power or unlimited power? I don't care which way you see them, but I want you to have a clear enough concept that you don't change your mind from one page to the next! And are the gods truly immortal? Is there no way they can end their existence? Are they omniscient? How about their origin? Were they always here or did they suddenly appear?
See, I just don't know what I believe about the gods. I don't know how to answer this.
|
|
| Yule, or, Cigfran's roasting on an open fire. |
[19 Dec 2004|10:52pm] |
First, a little background:
Back at Samhain, I conducted the ritual, part of which included me handling the ancestor torch. Now, when the rite was nearly over, I had to take this flaming torch, freshly doused in kerosene, and shove it in a tube, thus putting the torch out dramatically.
Well, when I did so, the torch wouldn't go in. Myr and I struggled a moment, when I just shoved it in as fast and as hard as I could, causing the flames to shoot back out towards me and along my arm, which was covered in my robe (the one in my icon, which yes, I made myself). My hand and part of my arm was entirely covered by the flames--but it was not consumed. Not a bit. I was slightly stung, but I wasn't even red.
Strange--and scary--I thought to myself.
I have a sort of fear of fire. It makes me nervous. As much as I like candles and fireplaces, I'm still nervous when it comes to fire.
So skip ahead now to this weekend, a cabin in the woods in New Jersey. Red Oak Grove is holding its Yule rite at midnight. There is a fire (the fire in the fireplace), a well (the lake outside) and a sacred tree (the Christmas tree). Not more than maybe ten feet away from the altar were I and everyone else is standing, Bardd Dafydd makes an offering to An Dagda, throwing a glass of denatured alcohol onto the fire.
At this point, a huge fireball comes out of the fireplace, exploding, up the chimney, out onto the carpet, and narrowly missing some of my library books. The image of blue and orange flames burn into my retinae, and I start to hyperventillate. I grow light-headed and nauseous, but know that I have to continue with leading the ritual. It's hard to concentrate, because all I can think about is the fire which just exploded behind us.
I was shaken the rest of the night. I fear fire. triskele sat down with me on my cabin bunk, helping me calm down, feel better (as well as talking with me about my low energy and numbness--she gave me a lot of good advice).
So I laid in the darkness and silence of my part of the cabin, meditating. The gates were still open--they were open all night, as ritual wasn't only the main portion, but included an entire night of vigiling for the new sun. So meditation and visualization seemed to come much easier to me last night than it normally would.
I saw Brigid, dressed all in white and blue, almost like a nun, but it was almost as if she was made of fire itself. She was entirely flame. And she said, "Don't worry about the fire."
"How can I not worry?"
"Do you remember Samhain?"
"Yes.... Yeah. I was Ok. I didn't get hurt."
"Right. Don't worry about fire. You're not reckless with it" --true, I wasn't the one who threw a glass of 100% alcohol on a big fire-- "So don't worry about flame. You need to get used to it."
It was comforting, of course.
|
|
|
[15 Dec 2004|12:36pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 discontent |
] |
I've been silent a while, and with reason.
See, I never seem to feel anything. I don't have any psychic qualities, any ESP, nothing. I don't feel anything particularly happening during a ritual, I don't feel different. I've heard people talk about raising and grounding energy, and I've never felt the need to do any such thing.
I wonder if I'm somehow deficient.
See, I know a lot of stuff. I read a lot, I study languages, I write. I try to keep up with what's going on. I try to be a social person, too. But ultimately, I mostly feel kinda numb about spirituality, about other people.
There are the occasional exceptions (Apollon for instance), but that's different.
I don't know. I really wonder if I'm somehow missing something. I didn't always feel this way, but I'm not sure when things changed. These days, I'm pretty much numb to everything--except for stress. (Well, who isn't feeling that these days?)
I know, I'm rambling. But I envy folks who can actually feel something. Sometimes I hear folks like Francesca talk and I just wish I could figure out what she's talking about, especially with Reiki. But I don't feel anything.
Something is wrong here. Something is wrong with me. And I'm not sure what (other than, you know, the usual existential crisis stuff).
This isn't really a crisis of faith. I really do believe in my Kindred. But I don't feel them. I don't feel anything--and it scares me.
|
|
| Samhain, and a New Position |
[27 Oct 2004|10:18am] |
1. Don't drink mead and scotch on the same night. IN the same hour. IN the same stomach.
2. I highly recommend having a guy dressed as the grim reaper at your ritual. Myr did this and was the bearer of the ancestor torch, and it was a great effect.
3. I am now the Pen Athrawes (which is basically the Grove Scribe combined with the concept of a Head Teacher, trying to help people with their DP, doing pre-rit briefings, things like that). It's a big job, and it's weird to have people have that kind of confidence in me.
When I think of other things, well, I'll think of 'em. I did what seemed to be a well-recieved workshop on jack-o-lanterns as the guiding lights to bring the Kindred to the rite. Hey, who doesn't love carving pumpkins?
|
|
| Gonna Be a Bard |
[11 Oct 2004|11:50am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 groggy |
] |
Well, my DP is now done (Bardd Dafydd is currently looking over it, and then I assume I send it to Jenni), so I'm now going to concentrate on my bardic work.
Yep, I'm a'gonna be a bard. Specifically, I'm now enrolled in the Fili branch, which focuses on poetry. My tutor is Wry Welwood, who's just fantastic.
So anyway, here's a piece I've produced:
( Autumn Harvest )
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
|
|
|
|
